my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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