yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
