I want to stick my p in your. b.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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