if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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