So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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