if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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