why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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