Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
