he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
