cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
