these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
