dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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