so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
