They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
