The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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