She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Mom said you looked used
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
