I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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