Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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