hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
