I am in a vortex of obligation.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
