ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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