And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
