Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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