That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
