apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
