never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
