glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
