Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There r osticjed everywhere
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
