exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
