I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
