Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
