Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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