So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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