it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
