sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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