i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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