It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
