you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
id be glad to
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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