it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
