Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
