So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
