AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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