We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
