Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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