ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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