How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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