I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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