She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
