I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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