my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
